The Uncensored Bible: The Bawdy and Naughty Bits of the Good Book by John Kaltner & Steven Mckenzie & Joel Kilpatrick

Author:John Kaltner & Steven Mckenzie & Joel Kilpatrick
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Bible, Humor, Old Testament, Wit and Humor in the Bible, General, Topic, Religion, Biblical Studies, History & Culture, Biblical Criticism & Interpretation
ISBN: 9780061238857
Publisher: HarperOne
Published: 2008-01-02T00:00:00+00:00

12

Does the Bible Command Bikini Waxing?

THE LAST PLACE you might expect to find a divine dictate for pubic shaving is in the last four books of the Pentateuch. These books are considered so dry and tedious that even evangelicals, known for their biblical devotion, rarely make it through alive. Viewed as a vast wasteland of verbal tedium, akin to reading the federal penal code, the books contain long lists of laws God gave to Moses soon after the Israelites escaped from Egypt and began their forty-year sightseeing tour of the desert. The most famous regulations found here are the Ten Commandments. But among the litany of rules are some hidden gems, and this chapter takes up an especially good one.

First, a quick legal lesson for your own good. The Israelite codes in the Pentateuch included two types of laws—those that supplied punishments and those that didn’t. The Ten Commandments are an example of the second kind: they did not come with a punishment. But many other Hebrew laws did. For example, here’s a colorful one you don’t see practiced much anymore except maybe in Saudi Arabia: “When the daughter of a priest profanes herself through prostitution, she profanes her father; she shall be burned to death.”1

And try these others on for size:

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